


A Study in Amber

by SpaceCat



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCat/pseuds/SpaceCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cold case leads to lessons in Greek and other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I was actually on my way to the lower Camera reading room, but my route took me past the Bodleian Divinity School, so I stepped in. Early morning sunshine streamed through the stained glass windows, the colorful slanting beams dancing with dust motes and making the air sparkle, highlighting the carved oaken benches and its lierne vaulted and filigreed ceiling. I no longer felt the ache of loss for my time in seminary, but this place was a prayer taken physical form and I paused to meditate on man's striving for the divine. It reminded me to keep faith in humanity, a reminder that I needed frequently.

A tour group passed and even though they kept their voices hushed, they disturbed my reverie, so I regretfully resumed my errand.

The Radcliffe was empty this early, not even a librarian seemed to be in residence. I circled around the central hub until I saw someone in one of the east bays. She was facing me, the table between us, her head bent over her work. I stopped a few feet away and said, "Excuse me." She looked up, and there all rational thought ended as I was pinned by the most arresting eyes I have ever seen.

They were a unique shade of gold-flecked amber which caught the light coming through the bay window, topped by a wave of salt and pepper hair that had once been the same color. A delicately arched brow rose as she said something that I couldn't hear over the roaring in my ears.

"I said, may I help you." The deep voice, honey smooth with the slightest rasp of velvet finally penetrated.

"Hathaw…" My voice broke like a damn teenager and I had to give myself a mental shake, clear my throat and start over. "Detective Inspector James Hathaway. I'm looking for Professor Forrester."

The russet eyebrow rose again. "Congratulations, you've found me. What can I do for you?"

I gave myself another stern mental rebuke. "I'm looking into a few cold cases, and the file on the death of Violet Forrester seems to be missing some information. I wondered if you might answer some questions for me."

A fleeting pain crossed the Professor's face as she looked at me appraisingly. Finally she said, "Let's talk about this outside, shall we?" She backed from the table smoothly with the faint whir of an electric motor and then rolled around to where I was standing.

I stared at the wheelchair momentarily dumbfounded. When I looked up to meet her eyes she said, "Apparently the second victim is also missing from your file."

 

* * *

 

After several fruitless questions that didn't seem to go anywhere, she said "Why don't you just let me see my sister's file and I'll tell you what's correct or not."

I handed the holder and its single page printout to her silently. I was sitting on the low stone base around the Radcliffe and could already feel the heat of the sun radiating off of the building. It was shaping up to be one of the warmer days of summer and I adjusted my collar while trying to watch her without being obvious.

Even sitting I'm tall enough to look down on most people, but those eyes were almost on a level with mine, so she must have been very tall for a woman. Her face was classically proportioned and slightly more feminine than strictly androgynous with a straight nose and just a hint of squareness in the jawline; her hair was a short utilitarian cut that could have been male or female. I clamped down on the faint tremor in my guts and longed to hear her voice again.

She obliged my wish. "Other than 'Violet' and 'Forrester' all of it is wrong." Amber eyes pierced me. "Date, location, cause of death, even her birthdate is wrong. Are you sure this is the correct file?"

I nodded. "There's no one else by that name. We had to go through city and council records to identify you as next of kin."

"Isn't everything in electronic databases these days? Surely you would have had that on record already."

"That's part of the problem," I said. "The attack occurred after we had already moved to completely computerized recording and evidence tracking, and everything should have been in the database, but this is all that's there." I thought about the empty audit trail, still puzzled.

The professor echoed my thought. "But there must be some kind of document security, a change record, right? I'm certain that the original police report was substantially correct."

"Yes," I admitted. "Every modification to a record is logged; time, date, what was changed and who made it." _And if it's been hacked, the whole department is in trouble_.

Again, she mirrored my thoughts. "If it's known that the log can be tampered with, wouldn't that put all your other cases at risk?" I opened my mouth to ask her to keep this quiet but she anticipated me. "You may of course rely on my discretion."

"Thank you, professor," I said weakly. Even Robbie, who knew me better than anyone alive, had never divined my thoughts so accurately on so short an acquaintance.

She checked her watch then rummaged in an organizer hung over the arm of her chair. "I have tutorials and coaching for most of the day, but I should be free this evening." She handed me a card. "Here's where you can find me. I think I have copies of the original police report. Any time after seven o'clock." she said briskly. She rolled away and was gone before I could squeeze out an intelligible reply.

 

* * *

 

I rang the bell at the professor's house at precisely 7:00 p.m. It was opened by a wiry woman with caramel colored skin and flashing dark eyes who looked me up and down suspiciously. When she spoke it was with a Caribbean lilt. "Madam said that a policeman may come."

I showed her my warrant card. "I am the policeman, yes."

She made no move to let me in. "It has been a long day, Madam is tired."

"I will try to not tire her further." I had to smile at the woman's protectiveness. A voice that set my insides trembling sounded from within and she finally stood aside and allowed me entry. "Thank you."

She led me back to a comfortable sitting room. "The policeman is here," she announced.

The professor was ensconced on a couch to one side, propped up on pillows against one arm with her legs outstretched and covered with a blanket. "Thank you, Opal. Bring tea in a few minutes won't you?"

Opal turned to me. "I do not trust police," she said defiantly. "Only one policeman has been good to me ever. An English policeman found my husband's killer in Parham Town many years ago." She looked at me expectantly.

I was nonplussed at that. What sort of reply could she be looking for? Then the location clicked with her accent. "You must mean Robert Lewis."

There was sudden flash of white teeth as she smiled broadly. "Yes, Inspector Robert." She used the French pronunciation of his name.

"He used to be my boss. He taught me how to be a detective."

She nodded firmly. "It is good. Madam's case will be solved now." She spun on her heel and stalked out. "I will bring the tea."

There was soft chuckle behind me that made me shiver. "You've won her over, Inspector."

I ducked my head, unsure of how to respond. "Um, you said you had a copy of the original police report?"

 

* * *

 

The story on my altered report was a simple home invasion burglary gone wrong, single gunshot to a single victim, perpetrator never found.

The real story involved three men who went to the wrong address looking for a cache of drugs, and failing to find them, tried to beat their location out of the two sisters. The men's trail had led back to a house on a quiet residential street in London where two of them were caught trying to dismantle a drug lab in the basement. They claimed that the third man, whose real name they never knew and who was still at large, was responsible for Violet's death.

"I can confirm that it was only one of them that went berserk and killed Violet," Professor Forrester said in a tightly controlled voice. "It might very well have been the one that escaped, but I don't know that for certain."

The wall opposite the couch was a long bookcase and there was round table in between. I had pulled one of the upright ladder-backed chairs over to sit facing the professor next to the couch. "You can't describe him at all?" I looked up from my notebook.

"At that point I was only half conscious myself, so no." Her hands, folded together on her lap, tightened, but she gave no further indication of distress other than to look away from me.

"And your injuries?" I hated to upset her further, but I needed a clearer picture.

"There was a struggle and I tumbled down a flight of stairs." She paused. "I suppose I'm lucky that there was no spinal damage, so I'm not paralyzed, but the pelvic fracture damaged enough nerves that my mobility is limited." A tremor was barely audible in her voice now.

_What would Robbie do?_ I put my hand over hers, feeling a tingle at the warmth of her skin. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I know this is difficult for you."

The room was lit by only two lamps and her eyes were ruddy and dark in the dim light and in them I could finally see the previously hidden anguish and memories of terror. I dealt with grieving and traumatized people on nearly a daily basis, but none affected me the way she did. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Finally she blinked and the connection was gone.

To lower the intensity and because I was too close to crossing a line, I stood and went over to the table to look at the books scattered there. They were in Greek. "You teach Greek?" I asked, flipping through one.

"Linguistics." Her voice had resumed its normal timbre. "With an emphasis on Greek and Turkic dialects from the Hellenistic period through the first century."

I glanced back at her. The keen intelligence had returned to her gaze and masked any deeper emotions once again. I greatly wanted to see beneath the façade… partly because I knew how much the mask costs to maintain, and partly because knowing Robbie has taught me the importance of having one person you can lay the burden down for. Her pain didn't weigh on me like that of so many others; it was a gift, a rare glimpse into her soul. But I didn't know how to reestablish our brief connection. When at a social loss I either stiffen up, becoming what Robbie calls an 'awkward sod,' or I babble. _Babbling it is then._

"Do you know Professor Gold?" I asked. "I had a run-in with her many years ago when we needed a clue translated from Greek. I had only managed part of it, and she immediately concluded from that that I must have gone to Cambridge because it would quote 'explain my limitations' unquote."

This earned me a laugh. "That sounds like Margaret. The rivalry between the universities was taken much more seriously in her day." She paused. "When did you study Greek?"

"I had two terms in seminary," I replied. "But her comment rather stung at the time so I started studying it again on my own." I turned back to her with a slight smile. "I didn't get very far I'm afraid."

Surprisingly, the professor made no comment, either direct or implied, about the fact that I had once trained as a priest. She accepted it at face value and asked, "What text did you start on?"

"Chysostom's Twelfth Discourse."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Ambitious choice, but probably a bit beyond two terms in seminary. I have more suitable study materials, if you're still interested."

I wasn't really interested in studying Greek _per se_ , but I leapt at the chance to interact with her on a different basis than the case. "Yes, absolutely."

She gestured to the wall of books behind me. "Third shelf center, blue binding with white lettering."

I pull out a soft-sided exercise book and resumed the chair next to her. She took it from my hands and flipped through it. She glanced up to judge my interest. "You're sure?"

Given her uncanny ability so far to track my thoughts, I was half afraid that she'd see right through me, but if she did, she ignored it. At my affirmative nod, she handed to book back open partway through.

"Try starting here. You can review earlier chapters if you need a refresher." She gave me a slight smile. "See how far you can get then bring it back in a week and I'll be able to recommend a text for you to work on that will be more interesting than the exercises."

I kept my face neutral even though I was grinning inside. "Thank you, Professor Forrester."

"Please, call me Evelyn."

"James."

 

* * *

 

The week was frustrating with one dead end after another. Since our systems are hardened against external threats and individual access was strictly controlled, I had to assume it was someone on the inside; a cop. And to forestall any rumors I couldn't take it outside the department. For example I'd ordinarily just ask Dr. Hobson about the missing medical reports, because Laura always knows what's going on or can find out, but I didn't dare now. Not that she can't keep a secret, but merely asking the questions tells people what you're looking for, and I didn't want her asking on my behalf and maybe becoming a target.

All right that was a _little_ on the paranoid side. But in my career so far Jack Cornish was the only corrupt policeman I'd ever encountered. He wasn't a killer, but he was involved with people who were, and the thought was frankly making me... well, paranoid.

Still, after exhausting all the searches that I could think of that might wring a little more information from our systems, I had to enlist Gurdip. I'd worked with him long enough to trust his discretion and integrity, and at least it kept it in the department. I wasn't sure I wanted to know just yet if the tampering extended to the pathology department.

On the day of my appointment with Professor Forrester, he barged into my office. Maddox had already left for a dinner date with Tony, and I was preparing to close up shop.

Gurdip plopped noisily into a chair and announced, "Man, you are going to owe me big for this."

"Why, what did you find?" I braced myself for the answer.

"Sod all about the person who did it," he said with a disgusted snort. He handed me a printout. "I did find the original autopsy report in a non-indexed location that made it invisible to the database. Do you know how many backup archives I had to trawl through? I had to create a program to practically search sector by sector, bit by bit." He made another disgusted huff.

I glanced through the report. "Thanks, Gurdip." The information on it correlated with what Professor Forrester had been able to tell me.

He must have seen something in my face. "That bad?" he asked.

"Might be," I admitted. "Let me know if you find anything else."

He gave a soundless whistle and left without another word.

 

* * *

 

The autopsy report did get me one thing; it had on it the name of the uniformed officer that had answered the 999 call. I found her in the personnel records, but she had been transferred to Londonderry only weeks after the attack.

A half a dozen phone calls later, I had determined that Police Constable Eirene Atkins had been forwarded on from Londonderry's Strand Road Station, and that no, they would not transfer my call to Coleraine Station where she was now posted. Once I finally reached her, I also learned that PC Atkins remembered the scene of the attack perfectly because it was the first dead body she'd ever seen and she really didn’t handle the sight of blood very well and had nearly fainted and she still had nightmares about it and the next door neighbor that she'd talked to first was so dishy that she almost fainted a second time and she was really sorry she hadn't gotten his phone number because he really could have been on telly but he hadn't seen or heard anything because he'd been at work and had only got home at the same time that she herself had arrived but she didn't get to talk to him very long anyway because the emergency response team were remarkably quick in arriving…

Out of the long stream of rapid fire irrelevancies (how did she breathe?) I finally managed to extract the name Detective Inspector Trent Dirkson.

I put his name into the system and there he was. Or had been; he'd resigned the force the same time that the uniform had been transferred. A little digging further showed that he had signed her transfer order.

It was looking more and more like an inside job.

 

* * *

 

I put the case resolutely out of my mind when I went for my tutorial with Evelyn. Thankfully she didn't allude to it either; if she was curious she kept it to herself.

This evening she was in her wheelchair at the table, which was scattered with numerous books and papers. "James!" She greeted me with a bright smile and twinkling amber eyes. "Ready for your grilling, are you?" My stomach turned over at her smile, but I pushed that aside.

We spent an hour going through the exercises and I found her to be both brilliant and exacting. But she was also patient and had a gently teasing sense of humor. Still, I felt my brain had been scrubbed, rinsed, and wrung out to dry when she was finished with me.

Opal came in and placed a tea tray on the table. I shuffled things around while Evelyn poured. In the process, I knocked her pen onto the floor. "Sorry, I'll get that."

But before I could reach, she taken an extendable grabber from her chair organizer and had picked it up herself. "I've got it, thanks."

I hid my disappointment at not being able to help behind my tea. I drank it quickly, surprised at how thirsty I was.

"Didn't think Greek was this much work, did you?" Evelyn chuckled.

"I feel like I've run a marathon."

She smiled. "I'll give you one extra point for the Greek reference but minus one point for such an obvious one. Here's a text for you to start on." She handed me a densely printed page. "You can use any of the reference materials on the selves."

It took me a minute to refocus but I dutifully dove into it. For a long time there was no sound but our respective pens on paper, as she took the opportunity to do some work of her own.

After a quarter hour's work I exclaimed, "This is Susanna and the Elders."

"I thought you might appreciate that as a former seminarian," she said without any implied judgement in her tone. "I have the rest of the _Septuagint_ as well, but this in one of the easier chapters to start on. Mind you, I expect your own translation, not something based on the Vulgate. I probably haven't had as much Latin as you, but I know enough to tell."

I had been _just_ about to ask if she also knew Latin, but by this time was unsurprised that she had followed my thoughts. As if reading that as well she smiled at me, the lamp light catching the gold flecks in her eyes and making them sparkle. "I do actually prefer attending Mass when it's in Latin." I said, smiling back.

"I would have expected no less from you," she said gravely, but I could tell there was still a twinkle behind it.


	2. Chapter 2

We fell into a routine. I would head to hers on Monday and Thursday evenings for a couple of hours of study. Sometimes Evelyn would tutor and direct, but much of the time was just quiet study and companionship. Lizzie saw the improvement in my temper, but wisely chose to say nothing. And after the initial tremors, I found that I could relax with Evelyn. She saw right through me and still accepted me. I could be myself with her, even more so than with Robbie, much as I loved him.

It wasn't all study; one evening several weeks into our acquaintance she called me to come over early. The door was opened by a dark haired young man that matched my height with two stone more muscle. "You must be James," he said cheerfully. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the kitchen. "The party's out on the patio." He shoved a beer in my hand. "Come on!"

The back wall of the sitting room was usually covered by curtains when I was here, but now they were open, revealing wide sliding patio doors with flat thresholds that let the late afternoon sun stream in. Outside I found half a dozen of Evelyn's other students there, with an abundance of Greek food from a new restaurant that had just opened up. I wasn't fond of Greek food, which she immediately saw with her usual acuity, and I certainly wasn't one for being social with strangers. But she tilted her head in silent entreaty and I stayed.

It was a surprisingly enjoyable evening. Evelyn was bright and animated, wheeling around from student to student as we played word games in Greek. I was on the periphery as usual, but didn't feel left out, she never forgot to include me, and the others accepted me merrily (although that could have been the beer). She wasn't drinking beer, so when her water glass was empty, I picked it up and headed inside. She intercepted me before I made it inside. "I'll get it, thanks," she said, disappointing me again.

"She hates accepting assistance." The dark haired one who'd let me in, Geoff I think, appeared at my shoulder. "Keeps everyone at arm's length. She's great though, really fun. Everyone loves her."

I had cheered back up by the end of the party, not even feeling the need to sneak out early and I fell asleep that night with laughing amber eyes before me. It was my new favorite color.

Still, Evelyn's case went slowly. A few days after I uncovered the name of the Detective Inspector, Gurdip was able to confirm this it had been Dirkson's laptop that had remotely logged in and accessed a hidden file with embedded code that gave it root access. This had allowed Dirkson or an accomplice to change the report and wipe the audit log. The autopsy report was mirrored automatically from pathology and all they had been able to do was deindex it, which was almost as effective as wiping since very few end users had root access. Gurdip was still trying to determine when the hidden file had been uploaded, but as far as he could tell, nothing implicated the pathology department. I heaved a big sigh of relief at that.

 

* * *

 

It was with curiosity that I showed up at Evelyn's the next week; she said we were going to have an audio visual night. Opal opened the door as usual when I got there, but instead of ushering me into the sitting room she pulled me into the kitchen. "Madam is very tired tonight," she said. "She did many strenuous exercises for the doctors this afternoon."

I looked at her enquiringly. "You mean she had physio?"

"Yes. You will finish early tonight please. I cannot stay," she waved at the counter where there was a kettle and cups. "You can make tea, yes?"

"Yes, I can manage tea," I assured her.

Opal lowered her voice. "When she is so tired she will want to sleep on the couch. You must make her go to bed. She always needs extra pain pills after sleeping on the couch."

"I will take care of the professor too," I promised.

She gave me a measuring look. "She will not like your help," she warned me. "After the attack her partner told her she was too much a burden and left."

I was consumed by comingled understanding and rage that anyone could be that cruel to someone as special as Evelyn. It left me speechless and closer to violence than I have ever felt in my life.

Opal gave me an approving look and a pat on the arm then left as I went into the sitting room.

"What were you and Opal going on about?" Evelyn's voice definitely sounded tired.

"We were discussing tea and conspiring against you," I said with forced cheerfulness.

"Just what I need." She sighed melodramatically. "Try not to get too carried away, all right?"

I surveyed the room. Evelyn was lying on the couch on her side with a bed pillow, covered by a brightly colored blanket. There was a wheeled cart at the foot end of the couch with a moderately sized flat screen television on it and a dvd machine on the shelf below.

Without comment I proceeded to rearrange the room, shifting the table towards the bookcase and moving the chairs away. This allowed me to roll the cart far enough over that she could see. I'd have to sit on the floor and lean against the couch, but then I could sit closer to her. The room was a little chilly so I pulled the extra knitted Afghan from the back of the couch and draped it over her feet before grabbing a cushion from one of the chairs and plopping down on it near her head.

"I've already seen the film; you didn't have to go through all that effort."

I shrugged carelessly and smiled at her. "Would you like tea now or later? You should have had popcorn; we could have a popcorn fight."

She snorted in tired laughter at that. "Later for tea, if you don't mind."

I looked at her seriously. "We can watch this some other time if you're too tired."

"My muscles are tired, my mind is not." She gestured to the remote. "Start it please."

I settled my back against the couch and did as instructed. At the opening credits I heard a soft rustle behind me and a warm hand softly squeezed my shoulder. It somehow forgot to remove itself.

The film was a short black and white art piece done in medieval-era Greek. It was hard to understand, but the pronunciations were close enough to what I was studying that I could follow some of it. The narrator followed the play of a young boy running around an olive grove fighting imaginary monsters and occasionally stopping to talk to his elderly great-grandfather who was tending the olives. It was quite well done and when it was over, I turned to ask Evelyn if I could borrow it to watch it again.

She was asleep. I was half tempted to just sneak out and leave her resting where she was, but I remembered my promise. I very quietly set the room back in order and brought her wheelchair over, then gently shook her awake. "Evelyn? Time for bed."

One amber eye opened to look at me balefully. "I'm fine where I am."

I decided to put my advanced degree in facetiousness to work. "I completely agree that you are fine," I said, putting just enough emphasis on the final word to admit a different possible interpretation. "But if Opal finds you on this couch in the morning, I will be decidedly _not_ fine, because she will do me serious bodily harm. I have my orders." She narrowed her eyes at me, so I continued. "You, I can outrun." I smiled to take any sting out of the words.

She made a sound halfway between a laugh and a snort. "Oh all right," she sighed with exaggerated irritation. She tossed the blankets back and sat up. I helped her swing her feet around to the floor. "Now bend over so I can grab hold, then stand up straight pulling me up with you," she instructed. "Then pivot towards the chair and set me down."

She gripped me around the neck and I lifted her up, my arms automatically going around her to hold her, and then I froze. The feel of her against me in close embrace made me light-headed as my heart tried desperately to pump blood back up into my brain. This was not helped by the warm gust of her breath into my ear as she faintly chuckled. "Pivot, James."

Blushing furiously, I did as told and set her down. By the time we made it to the bedroom, where Opal had thoughtfully turned the bed down, I was back under control. Luckily I didn't have to lift her like that again; the bed had a short rail near the head that she held onto and only needed my arm. I got out of there as quickly as I could, still too embarrassed to look her in the face.

I took me a long time to fall asleep that night.

 

* * *

 

Friday night was dinner at Laura and Robbie's. Lizzie was already there when I arrived, and Tony walked in right after me. It wasn't until afterwards that I broached the subject of Evelyn's case with Robbie. We were sitting in living room, I in my usual chair, Robbie on the couch, with a glass of wine each while Lizzie and Tony chatted with Laura and cleaned up in the kitchen.

I gave him a full rundown of the attack on the Forrester sisters and what I'd discovered about the cover up. "Gurdip's still working on it, but I don't know how much more he'll be able to find."

"Aye, I remember Dirkson. Didn't have much to do with him, he mostly worked in the robbery division. He transferred from the Met." His brow creased. "He had a younger brother that was always in trouble if I remember right." He suggested a few avenues of investigation then sat back and looked at me with a knowing twinkle. "So, tell me more about Evelyn."

I tried to look nonchalant and not blush. "I don't know what you're talking about." Of course I'd had to mention Evelyn's name when describing the case and _of course_ Robbie picked up on my feelings. There were times when I wished for the old days when everyone thought me inscrutable.

"It's written all over your face, canny lad." He reached out with one foot and nudged mine. "Relax, it's a good thing. You've needed someone for a long time."

I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my head down. "She's different… special," I said softly.

"I'm betting you haven't done anything about it yet, have you?" He nudged me again. "Does she make you happy?"

I nodded, not yet able to give voice to my deeper feelings.

"Then don't wait too long." He paused before continuing in a quieter voice. "How many more years of happiness could I have had with Laura if I had pulled my head out of my arse sooner?" I could guess, but didn't say anything. "If you learn only one thing from this old man James, let it be this: If you find someone that makes you happy, don't think, don't hesitate, just grab hold with both hands and don't let go."

That night I once again had trouble falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

I set Lizzie to updating the paperwork on our latest case while I put in a request in for all records on Dirkson's brother. On one hand I was frustrated at how slow things were going, on the other, I didn't want to end my association with Evelyn. I didn't want to think she'd drop me as a friend once it was finished, but I was insecure enough to worry that she might, and that was enough to keep me on pins and needles.

Still, Robbie's words kept echoing through my mind. "…Don't let go."

So on our next study evening I gathered up my courage. _Come on, you're way too old to be this nervous._

As nonchalantly as possible I asked, "Just out of idle curiosity…"

Evelyn interrupted with a humorous snort. "Any sentence that starts like that isn't merely curiosity and certainly isn't idle. Just ask what you want to know."

Abashed, I cleared my throat and asked, "How do you get to physio and other places with your chair?"

She looked at me warily. "I have a van with a lift. Opal drives me. Why?"

I said a small prayer. "Have you heard of Theatro Zanzibar? It's a dinner theater sent up in a circus tent that has acrobats and music and…" I trailed off as she looked at me in surprise. When she didn't say anything I continued. "It's usually in a field and they lay down a boardwalk that the chair would be able to roll over and they're only in the area for a couple of months before they move on to the next area and they have a different menu in each place and…" I had to stop to breathe before I went blue in the face from the longest run-on sentence I have probably ever babbled.

Evelyn found her voice finally. "Do I understand you right? You're asking me out to dinner?"

I bit my lip and said another prayer. "Yes." My heart was in my throat and I cursed myself for feeling like a teenager.

After what was probably only seconds but felt like an eon she smiled. "I guess that means I should introduce you to Grendel's Mother."

I blinked at her owlishly as she rolled over to the patio door and went out. "Are you coming?" I jumped to my feet and ran after. At the end of the patio was a paved walkway to an out building at the rear of the small yard. I followed her into what turned out to be a garage. There was a great green monster of a van that seemed just barely to fit, the back end of which was modified with an extendable ramp.

"This is Grendel's Mother, although Opal has several less flattering names." She gestured to a hook on the wall to the right. "The keys are kept over there. The lift is operated by a switch on the dash."

I saw a lighted button for the garage door next to the hook with the keys. Exploring further, I opened the driver's side door and found a red switch to the right of the steering wheel. I flipped it which caused the whine of an electric motor to start and the lift to open up smoothly. I grabbed the ignition keys and hit the garage door opener.

"James, what are you doing?"

I walked back and said cheerfully, "Riders up!"

"What?"

"Come on, get in," I motioned her with feigned impatience. "I've got to practice right? I'm not used to this large a vehicle."

She looked at me like I was a mad aleck then gave a short laugh and rolled her chair onto the ramp.

"Excellent." I jumped into the driver's seat and started it up. The garage opened out onto an alley way behind the yard and after making sure the lift was closed again, I pulled out cautiously. I don't know about a monster, but it sure drove like a pig. Still, I had driven a police van that wasn't too different.

It was a warm evening and I drove around until I saw an ice cream vender in a park along the Cherwell. I parked and open the lift. "Let's go down to the water." The path here was paved and her chair rolled along easily. I got us each a cone and sat on a bench where we caught a cool breeze and could watch the sun go down.

After a minute I noticed that she wasn't eating her ice cream. I looked over and her head was bowed. "Is something wrong?"

Her neck muscles tensed as she swallowed. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to do something this simple and spontaneous?"

"Well now you know who to call when you're in the mood for simple and spontaneous." She didn't answer. I leaned over and put a hand on the arm of her chair. "Evelyn?"

She finally looked up, eyes glowing with unshed tears in the waning light. I moved my hand to her wrist and gently squeezed, saying nothing. She placed her other hand over mine and squeezed back.

I brimmed over with happiness; once again she'd dropped her guard for me. "So is that a yes for dinner?" I asked with a smile.

To dinner we went. I was delirious, I was high. I don't remember how we got there. I don't remember what I ate or how I got home. I don't remember any of the acts except a comedy juggling team that tossed burning torches whose flames failed to match the brightness of Evelyn's eyes. I do remember that she kissed me goodnight. I remember the softness of her lips on mine that left every nerve thrumming like a plucked guitar string and turned my blood into bubbling champagne.

I was lost and I couldn't even care.

 

* * *

 

I finished up paperwork for our latest case the following Thursday and turned my attention to the drug house where the two other attackers had been arrested. They had been caught by an anonymous tip, which Gurdip had confirmed came from a burner phone, so they had probably been set up. Still, I wondered what connected a house in London with a drug cache here in Oxford. I had set the computer to drawing up real estate records when my phone rang.

My favorite voice came over the line. "James?" This was an odd time for her to call; she usually just waited until I arrived to study if she wanted to tell me something. "Could you possibly come over early today?" She was uncharacteristically hesitant. "And by early I mean right now."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Well, not wrong so much as awkward." She hesitated again. "I've taken a bit of a spill and Opal's not here …"

I didn't let her finish. "I'll be right there." I slammed the phone down without listening to her reply and grabbed my keys.

I knew she kept a spare house key under a flower pot by the door, so I let myself in. "Evelyn?"

"You needn't sound so panicked," she said testily, from somewhere in the sitting room.

I found her in the corner between the table and the bookcase. "Are you hurt? Should I call an ambulance?"

"No and no." She frowned at me. "Just help me up off the floor."

I knelt down so that she could grab me around the neck and lifted her up to her wheelchair. "You're sure you're not hurt?"

"I said I'm fine." She pushed me away crossly. "If you're going to hover over me and kick up a fuss, then we'll just cancel tonight and you can go home." With a sharp jerk on the control lever of her chair she spun the apparatus around and headed towards the kitchen.

I'm not as good at reading people as Robbie, but I suddenly realized that given her reluctance to accept help, her ire was a probably cover for embarrassment. I went after her. "Maybe you need one of those senior alert things for when you fall," I suggested facetiously. "Or we could wrap you in cotton wool…"

She spun her chair back around and glared at me fiercely. I gave her a saucy grin. "Or I know; we could hire a team of nurses and maids to wait on you day and night… Of course you'll also need a couple of big strong lads to carry you everywhere… decked out with fancy footman's livery; you know the kind with lots of buttons and gold braid…"

Suddenly she started to laugh. "All right, all right, that's enough." Good humor restored, she shook her head ruefully at me.

I knelt next to her, serious now. "I'm sorry you fell, but I'm glad that you called me."

"James…"

I took her hands in mine. "You will never be a burden to me, Evelyn," I said simply, allowing everything I felt for her to show on my face.

She closed her eyes and let her head drop slowly forward until her temple rested against mine. I reached up to cradle her head with one hand and we stayed like that for several long moments. _I will prove it to you_ , I promised her silently. _However long it takes_.

I didn't say it out loud; her independence was too hard won for her to be convinced by mere words.


	3. Chapter 3

It was ten o'clock when I got back to the station. I wanted to see what the real estate search on the London house had turned up. It had apparently changed hands repeatedly from one property management or title holding company to the next. Something about the timing of the transactions bothered me, but I couldn't put my finger on what. With a sigh I set that aside and concentrated once again on the arrest record of the younger brother, Tyler Dirkson.

It was mostly charges for minor drug possession and aggravated assault, but intent to distribute charges involving larger drug quantities were sprinkled in and amongst them. None of them seemed to go to court, or if they did he was acquitted on technicalities. Looking at a map they were scattered on either side of the M40 from London up to Birmingham and up the M6 to Liverpool. Like a drug delivery route maybe? Then the dates clicked.

The title transfers of the London house were all immediately after – within a day or two – of the brother's distribution arrests. I took a closer look at the ownership of the property management companies and found one shell company after another, each merging, then splitting, and then acquired by another in an ever more confusing tangle. I switched back to Trent and finally found his name on an obscure incorporation document linking him to one of the older shell companies.

We really needed to find the two of them and question them. I put a trace on their driving licenses and passports and wondered what to do next.

I went cross-eyed looking at maps and dates and locations. Finally I bundled the most relevant information together and sent inquiries to the Metropolitan Police and Interpol. Someone had to know something about these guys.

It was just before two o'clock by the time I collapsed into bed, so exhausted I could hardly see.

 

* * *

 

Despite getting to bed so late, or early depending on how you look at it, I was up in good time for my day off and the outing I had planned. I had found an accessible countryside organization that had given me a list of local trails and walks navigable by wheelchairs. I had taken it to Evelyn and let her choose someplace to spend the day.

She had picked a short wetland trail along the Thames next to Farmoor Reservoir. It was a warm day and most people were swimming, fishing or sailing on the lake. I would have expected more people on the cool and shady trail but we had it to ourselves for much of the way. Birds were singing all around us and there were glimpses of the peacefully flowing river every so often with the occasional swan or hawk to be seen.

We found a comfortable spot on the shade along a grassy verge to have a picnic lunch. I laid out a blanket. "Do you want to sit on the here in the grass or stay in your chair?" I asked, hoping she'd accept my help again.

She had her eyes closed enjoying the cool breeze. "Hmm? Oh grass, definitely," she answered. She opened her eyes and graced me with a smile that made my stomach flutter.

Once lunch was over I lay back with a sigh and put my hands behind my head. We weren't directly next to the river but could hear the quiet gurgle of the water murmuring beneath the song birds. Evelyn sat close enough that I could feel her warmth even though we weren't touching and happiness chuckled through me like the river. I didn't speak or move just gazed up at the sky filtering through the leaves, content to live in the moment.

At some point I fell asleep, my late night catching up to me. I dreamed of Evelyn and flying through heavens of sparkling rosy amber.

I awoke slowly with Evelyn's head on my shoulder. I had shifted in my sleep to cradle her; she was nestled against me, the curve of my body keeping most of her weight off the ground. I wondered what to say to her when she awoke. _Did you have a nice nap? And oh by the way I want to wake up with you like this every morning for the rest of my life, if you could possibly pencil that into your schedule._

I snorted quietly and decided that there was such a thing as too much facetiousness. It was so bloody comfortable, and not just physically, that I didn't want to give it up.

She chose that moment to move and stretch. "Mmm, thanks for the comfortable shoulder, James." I turned my head to look into her face at close range. The golden sparkles that I adored were twinkling at me gently. "It seemed a shame to let it go to waste."

"Glad to be of service, ma'am." Fallen soul that I am, I couldn't resist the temptation and I leaned the last few centimeters forward to kiss her. I drew back after a few seconds to make sure she was okay with it, but she followed my movement and kept our lips together. She opened to me and I sank into the moist heat of her mouth with a quiet sigh. For a long space of time, I completely forgot our surroundings.

Finally I had to break away and rolled onto my back, gasping. Heat was swirling through me and pushing me too close to an embarrassing physical reaction. Given her response I doubted that she would mind, but while we weren't directly along the trail, we weren’t far enough away that passerby couldn't get an eyeful.

Evelyn gave a throaty chuckle that bumped my pulse back up a notch. "A little too public, isn't it?"

"It's getting downright scary how you read my mind," I huffed.

Evelyn was saved from having to answer by my mobile ringing from somewhere in the depths of the picnic basket. It was on her side, so she rolled away from me and sat up to pull it closer. She dug the mobile out and handed it to me. "Here."

I glanced at the screen. "It's my sergeant." I frowned. "It must be something important for her to disturb me today." I sat up and keyed reply. "Lizzie?"

"Hello sir, where are you?" She asked.

"I'm out and about," I replied testily. "It is my day off, you know."

"So you're with Evelyn then." There was just a hint of teasing smugness in her voice.

"What do you want, sergeant?" _It had better be important._

"I'm sorry to bother you, but a message came through from Interpol."

I stiffened and forced myself to not look at Evelyn. "Hold on, Lizzie." I scrambled to my feet and walked down the path until I was sure we wouldn't be heard. "Tell me," I commanded.

"Trent and Tyler Dirkson have been arrested in Brisbane Australia."

Shocked, I turned involuntarily to look back at Evelyn and our eyes locked. After a long moment Lizzie's voice brought me back and I pulled my eyes away. "Already?" I checked my watch. "It's only been twelve or thirteen hours since I contacted them."

"Apparently they've been under investigation for a while. There was a stakeout in progress when your message came through, so they moved on them right away. They're being extradited as we speak."

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. "See if you can set up a time for me to question them. I know that they're wanted on a variety of charges, but I want our case among them."

I stood in silent turmoil for a minute before returning to Evelyn. "Just some news on a case," I said offhandedly, knowing that I couldn't fool her.

And I didn't. "About my case." She didn't even make it a question.

I looked at her and nodded, unsure of how much to tell her.

Her eyes were shuttered against me once more and revealed nothing. That hurt considering how close we'd been a few minutes ago, but I could understand why. Her voice when she spoke was painfully neutral. "How much do you know for certain?"

"I have suspects and circumstantial evidence, but nothing is certain at this point."

"Then don't tell me anything. I don't want to know until you're sure."

I could understand that too.

The mood broken, we packed up and returned home.

 

* * *

 

Once I dropped Evelyn off and garaged the van, I headed back to the station. The suspects would probably be back in England by tomorrow and I didn't have nearly enough evidence to confront them with.

I debated asking Robbie to go with me to interview them because he's a genius at that, but some part of me resisted. I wanted to solve this one myself. When I handed the results to Evelyn, with my quivering heart right on top, I wanted to be the only recipient of her gratitude. "How ridiculous and juvenile is that?" I muttered. "You are not knight in shining armor material."

The most plausible scenario was that Tyler was the drug courier and had killed Violet, while Trent the cop orchestrated the drug lab and cover ups. I spent the entire night beating my head against a wall, trying to find something, anything that would place the younger brother in Oxford the day of the attack. When I finally had to give up in frustration at that, I pursued evidence against the cop. I hit the same blank wall. However he had done it, he had covered their tracks very, very well.

I didn't come up for air until Robbie showed up the next morning. He took one look at me and dragged me out of my chair. "Time for a break. Come on, you." He pulled me along down to the break room, still strong enough at his age to manhandle me against my protests. He shoved me onto the couch. "Sit, I'll get you some coffee."

I did as I was told, too exhausted to fight. He put the cup in my hand and sat next to me like we used to in the old days, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. I drew immeasurable comfort from that. "I'm a little disappointed in you, James. You know that none of us can do it on our own; are you going to half kill yourself on this one because you're too proud to ask for help?"

I had no answer to that. He was right, mostly. I slumped down, leaned my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes. "I know, I'm sorry."

We sat in silence for a minute. I know he was waiting for me to say something else, but I just didn't have the energy. Finally he gave up waiting with a grunt. "Here's what we're going to do this morning. The booking photos have come through from Interpol, so you are going to take a bit of a kip here, then take them down to Bullingdon Prison and see if the two accomplices will identify one or both of them. They've have a nice few years inside to think about where their allegiance lies. While you're doing that, I'm going to take everything you have against the copper and hand it over to the Department of Professional Standards."

I shifted a little in protest, but he ignored me. "I poked around a bit and found that they were already suspicious about Dirkson. The cover up of the murder probably upped the heat enough that he felt he had to bolt the country. DPS has other evidence against him that we don't have and they have more resources to investigate things that we can't."

I tried to be mad that he'd looked into it without telling me, but dividing the cases up like that took a huge weight off my shoulders and I couldn't help but be grateful. "Thank you, Robbie."

He patted my knee and stood up. "Just remember to let your friends help you." He paused at the door before leaving. "Plus it gives you the chance to show your lady love how it's done; you know, set a good example."

I snorted with laughter. "All right, point made."

His blue eyes twinkled at me gently as he smiled, then he stuffed his hands in his pockets and ambled off. I fondly watched him go.

I'd loved Robbie from very early on in our association even though I'd always known that we would never be more than friends, however close we might become. I've always wondered if he'd figured it out given his ability to read me, but if he had, it had never changed how he treated me. He remained the best, most supportive friend anyone could ask for, and I didn't care about him any less for loving Evelyn.

In fact it was Robbie's example that taught me how limitless love could be. The reason he was so damn good at his job — justice for the dead and solace for the living — was because he cared so deeply for people. Over the years he had taught me so much more than how to be a detective.

 _Bless you, Robbie._ I stretched out on the couch with a smile and fell immediately into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

The two in prison had never seen Trent Dirkson, but were falling over themselves to identify Tyler as the killer. And by the time I was ready to head to London where they were holding the brothers, Gurdip brought me the final nail… a forensic report he'd recovered byte by byte identifying DNA at the scene as Tyler's. One or both sisters had fought back hard enough to draw blood. _Good for them._

Robbie insisted on coming to the interview with me. "I trust you to handle yourself, lad. But you stood by me when I confronted Monkford and I'm doing the same for you." And indeed, when I looked through the one-way glass at the man who had caused the woman I loved so much pain… I was damn glad to have Robbie's solid and comforting bulk next to me.

It was a short, even brutal take down; I didn't have the patience for fancy foot work or verbal jousting. Without his brother to protect him and in the face of both testimony and DNA, he caved quickly. When it was over I was shaking with the effort to maintain control. Robbie gripped my shoulder in silent understanding. I handed him my car keys, knowing that it was probably safer that I not drive; I'd probably take out half of Oxfordshire the way I felt.

I had recovered by the time we got back to Oxford and the station. Maddox and Innocent were waiting for us when we walked in. "Well?" Innocent demanded.

"James did me proud," Robbie answered for me. "Never seen it done better. The bastard will be off the streets for life."

Lizzie gave a short cheer and hugged me. Innocent refrained, but was smiling. "You will be happy to know that DPS has handed down a long list of indictments regarding the cover up as well." She shook my hand. "Well done, James."

All that was left now, beyond the interminable paperwork, was to tell Evelyn.

 

* * *

 

It was very late, closer to twelve than eleven by the time paperwork was cleared and I could leave. I pulled up outside Evelyn's house and turned the engine off. After sitting there for a while planning what to say and how, I pulled out my mobile.

She answered on the first ring. "James?"

"Are you in bed?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I started over. "I know it's late, but can I come in?" There was a long silence at the other end. Goodness knows what she thought of my asking at this time of night, but I think she knew I wouldn't call this late if it wasn't important.

Finally, she said, "Yes, come in," in a somewhat distant voice. I didn't need to hunt for the key or ring the bell; she opened the door as soon as I hit the top of the ramp up to the porch. I hadn't spoken to her since the revelation about her case by the river, so of course she was waiting up for me. I followed her wheelchair back to the sitting room where she spun it around and looked up at me searchingly.

I didn't keep her in suspense. "We caught him and he's confessed. He won't hurt anyone ever again." That was the only answer she really needed, details could wait until later.

"It's over?" She looked at me dazedly. "One of them won't come back to finish…"

I jumped in quickly to reassure her. "No, there's no one else." I hadn't known she was afraid of that. "It really is over."

There was a long pause while she stared blankly into space, then the tears started and she buried her face in her hands.

I slipped one arm behind her back and the other under her knees and lifted her bodily out of her chair. I backed to the couch and sat with her legs across my lap and held her tightly against me, rocking her gently. She wept for a very long time, but I didn't mind. She could cry an ocean of tears and I would happily drown in them, as long as she shed them on my shoulder.

 

* * *

 

I awoke to the earliest hint of daylight. The soft warm weight of Evelyn's body draped over mine was sufficiently novel that I had no trouble remembering where I was. She was still asleep judging by her breath on my neck, so I risked a kiss to the top of her head while I stretched my shoulders a little, trying not to wake her.

Too late. "Good morning, James," she murmured.

"I thought you were still asleep."

"No, I was waiting for you to wake up." Her arms tightened around me.

I squeezed back. "What was that for?"

"A lot of things."

My mobile rang before I could ask what things. I had tossed my jacket over the back of the couch and it fallen down under my feet in the night. I sat up with some effort and was finally able to fumble it out of the pocket. "Hathaway… Right, I'll be there as soon as I can." I hung up with a sigh. "Sorry, I have to go to work."

"That's all right. I understand."

I rolled her gently off of me with regret. "Do you want to stay on the couch until Opal gets here or do you prefer your chair?"

"Chair please." This time she accepted my help without hesitation.

Once she was settled, I sat back down on the couch next to her. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No, you need to go to work."

"It'll keep for a few minutes."

She cupped my face in her hands and ghosted a kiss over my lips. "I will not be the cause of you being late." She smiled at me in fond exasperation. At least, I hope it was fond.

Looking into the golden amber of her eyes, the words were on my tongue and I was ready to say them, but my mobile beeped with an incoming text and the moment passed.

"Call me when you're finished, all right? I don't care how late."

"I will." I kissed her, grabbed my jacket and headed out to my suspicious death.

 

* * *

 

Dr. Hobson gave her usual succinct preliminary report and the crime scene was sorted quickly. I was headed back to my car after sending Lizzie off to interview witnesses, when I heard Laura calling my name. I stopped and turned. "Was there something else, Laura?"

"Robbie told me you caught Violet's murderer. God James, that's fantastic." She surprised me with a quick but fierce hug which I returned. "She was a couple years behind me when we were interns and such a sweet person."

"Why didn't you tell me that you knew her?" I asked in surprise.

"You were doing just fine on your own and I didn't want to put the pressure of more expectations on you. How did Evelyn handle the news?"

I shrugged and looked down at my shoes. "I never knew one person could hold that many tears."

Laura tugged my sleeve. "And the suit which looks like you slept in it?"

Laura might not be able to read me like Robbie, but she had good instincts and would keep digging until the truth came out. "I held her all night. We fell asleep on her couch." I stretched my shoulders. "And it gave me a crick in the neck."

Laura gave me a sympathetic look and another hug. "I'm proud of you James." Her expression changed to a sly grin. "Have you told her?" At my questioning look she added, "That you love her. Robbie was right you know. Also about the head-up-arse bit."

So he had told Laura about our conversation. Probably half the reason she cornered me about my rumpled suit. "I haven't found the right moment yet." I bit my lip.

Laura pulled my face down to hers and kissed me on the cheek. "You will. And when you do the words will come easily."

 _I hope so._ "Thanks." Then before she could leave I added, "I don't think Robbie held back because he was afraid of you rejecting or hurting him, you know." She looked up at me enquiringly. "I think he was afraid that if anything happened to you… well, he wouldn't survive another loss like that."

She hid a swift secretive smile. "I've got Robbie well in hand, don't you worry. Now go get yourself sorted, eh?"


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't too late in the evening by the time I finished for the day, but I went home for a hot shower and a change of clothes before calling Evelyn.

She answered right away. "Hi, James."

"How was your day?"

She hesitated. "Strange."

There was something that I couldn't quite define in her voice. "How so?"

Her voice became quieter and more introspective. "I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, but has left me… unbalanced. It seems like everything should be different because I'm different, but it's not and it feels… weird." She paused. "And then I think maybe I imagined it all and you came to me in a dream… and that nothing at all changed and I'm the one that's crazy."

"It's just reaction," I said gently. "It wasn't a dream; it will just take time for you to adjust to the new normal." She didn't reply and I knew she'd never ask, so I did. "Would you like me to come over?"

"Yes please." She sounded like she was trying not to let her relief show. "Opal's not here, so let yourself in."

"I'm on my way." I got there in record time and I solemnly swear that I broke no speed limits or driving laws.

She wasn't in the sitting room or kitchen when I got there. "Evelyn?"

"In here."

I found her sitting up in bed reading. "A little early to be in bed isn't it? It's only eight o'clock."

Amber eyes smiled. "Opal had to leave early, so I thought I'd read until I got sleepy."

I sat on the edge of the bed so that I could lean back against the headboard next to her. I put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards me. She resisted at first, but I tugged again and she melted against me. I kissed the top of her head and focused on giving her all the comfort in my power.

 

* * *

 

I drifted pleasantly in and out of sleep for a couple of hours. Finally biology intruded and I had to get up to use the bathroom.

"Mmm, where are you going?" Evelyn's voice was slightly rougher on the edge of sleep and sent lovely tingles down my spine.

"I'll be right back." I eased away from her gently. I gave the ingenious pulley and counterweight system over the bath only a cursory glance, wanting to get back to her quickly. As I was washing my hands I noticed a pill organizer with a.m. and p.m. compartments for each day, observing that today's p.m. slot was full. I found a glass tumbler under the sink and filled it with water, then took it and the pill organizer out with me. I ignored the grimace she gave me as I handed them to her. She downed them wordlessly. "What are these from this morning that you didn't take?"

"Pain meds; I didn't need them."

"I thought Opal said you did when you slept on the couch."

Evelyn gave me an impish smile that made my heart turn over. "I didn't sleep on the couch, I slept on you. _You_ slept on the couch."

I had to chuckle at that. "Yeah, and I probably could have used these."

When I returned from taking the pills and glass back to the bathroom, she had shifted to lie down and opened the covers for me. I had kicked my shoes off earlier and started to climb in, but paused midway. "You're sure?" Falling asleep together on the couch from grief and sheer exhaustion was one thing, but deliberately sharing a bed was completely another.

She nodded and I slipped under the covers fully clothed, then allowed her to roll against me and tuck her head into my shoulder. She immediately fell asleep. I resisted the urge to do the same, wanting to enjoy the sensation of holding her. She jerked back awake a short time later, eyes wide. "Shh, everything's all right," I whispered, rubbing her back comfortingly. She relaxed back into sleep and this time I joined her.

 

* * *

 

Evelyn made me breakfast the next morning over my protest. "Thank you, James, but I _can_ still do things for myself." She didn't frown exactly, but she didn't smile either and I kicked myself for treating her like an invalid. She deserved better, and as much as I wanted to help her and prove she wasn't a burden, I had to respect her independence. If I wanted more than casual friendship, it would have to be on her terms. Breakfast was a small price to pay for the possibility of forever.

We ate our omelets in companionable silence. I pulled out my mobile for a quick check of my email, but there was nothing pressing this morning so I put it away. "That's the third time you've bitten your lip," I observed as I looked back up. "Did you pick that up from me? If so stop it and just say what you want to say." I grinned at her look of surprise. "It's what you'd demand of me, right?"

She chuckled at that. "Point taken. I was wondering if you'd drive me somewhere."

"To the ends of the earth."

"I don't need to go nearly that far," she said with a grave twinkle. "Only to Wadebridge." At my questioning look, she added, "it's in Cornwall."

"I would be honored to drive you to Wadebridge, Cornwall," I said, rejoicing on the inside.

"My grandparents had a place there," she said pensively. "Vi and I spent all our summers there as children. Vi loved it." She looked down, sadness in her voice. "They would take us out to Daymer Bay. There's a spot where there are low dunes and we would race down them against the wind to the beach and splash into the water. Vi always beat, she was so full of life..." A single tear dropped and my heart broke for her, but I didn't interrupt; this was the most she'd ever spoken of her sister. She blinked the tears away. "I want to scatter her ashes there."

"Then I'd be doubly honored," I said softly, pleased that she would ask for a favor so personal. The look she gave me was worth the whole world.

"It's a bit of a long ways to do a round trip in one day," she said hesitantly. "There's a place that has wheelchair accessible rooms… We could stay if you don't want to drive back."

"Sounds perfect." I was going to say something else, but I was interrupted by my mobile. Still holding Evelyn's amber gaze, I answered. "Hathaway."

Laura's voice sounded in my ear. "Good morning, James. Hand your mobile over to Evelyn, won't you? I want to talk to her."

I pulled the thing away from my ear momentarily and looked at it in shock. "What?"

"You heard me, James," Laura sounded amused.

I did as instructed. "It's Laura Hobson," I said weakly. "She wants to talk to you."

But the happiness bubbling up in me quickly washed away any embarrassment. I had always been secretive about what few relationships I'd had, carefully hiding even the longest lasting of them. But I'd shout it from the rooftops if I could be sure of how Evelyn felt about me. So what did I care if Laura knew I had spent the night again?

I tuned out the one sided conversation and concentrated on Evelyn's mouth. It was surprisingly mobile and expressive for all of her reticence. The corners turned upwards at first and I could imagine Laura joking about me, just as I could imagine her offering condolences for Evelyn's sister when they turned downwards.

I was so lost in reverie that I didn't realize that the call had ended until Evelyn handed my mobile back to me. "Earth to James," she shook her head at me with a smile. "You have the goofiest look on your face."

"Do I?" I asked dreamily.

She laughed. "Yes. So, are you available tonight?"

I knew I still had the goofy look, but I couldn't help it. "For you, always."

"Laura has invited us for dinner. Seven o'clock."

"I know what kind of wine she likes, I'll bring a bottle." In for a penny, and all that.

" _Us_ , James. As in you and me… Together." She gave me a doubtful look. "You know, as a couple."

"Right." I tried to be nonchalant although I'm not sure I succeeded. "Is 6:30 all right?"

She hesitated. "You're okay with it?"

"Of course." I raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be? She'll probably have my sergeant over too; it'll be a nice gathering." I grinned. "Don't worry, none of them bite or anything."

"But they're _your_ friends."

"They're yours too, if you want. You're as much a part of my life as they are, so of course I want you to meet them all." She looked at me uncertainly and I reached out to take her hand. "I want them to get to know you… how smart and funny you are, how beautiful and courageous. I want them to love you like I do."

I held her gaze. I hadn't intended to say it quite like that, it just slipped out as easy as Laura said, but I wasn't about to back down from it.

 

* * *

 

I made sure that the van lift closed properly then followed Evelyn up the walkway to Laura's house.

"James."

"Evelyn."

"There's a step and the door is too narrow."

"Well would you look at that." I examined the door thoughtfully for a long moment. Then I turned to her with a grin. "Good thing we're not using it, right?" I didn't tell her that Robbie and I had spent over hour at lunch clearing off the walkway to the back to make sure that the chair would have no problems and preparing the sun porch to be an impromptu dining room.

She shook her head at me and tried to hide a smile.

Trundling her around back, Robbie met us at the sun room door. I made introductions and Robbie helped me get her chair over the threshold. We had transformed the simple room. The dining table with its extra leaves was in place along with some of the decor from the dining room. We had also maneuvered, with much profanity, a couch into the room so that we could spend the whole evening in here since the wheel chair wouldn't fit thru the inside door.

Evelyn looked around at the snug little space. "You didn't have to go to so much trouble," she said.

"There's no trouble for any friend of James," Robbie replied with a smile.

"Evelyn!" Laura breezed in. She took Evelyn's hands and looked at her closely. "I can see the resemblance. It's so good to meet you at last." She kissed Evelyn on the cheek. "Why hasn't Robbie gotten you a drink yet?"

"It's right here, luv," Robbie scolded, handing a wine glass to Evelyn.

Evelyn looked into the glass uncertainly.

"Don't worry, there's no alcohol," Laura whispered confidentially. "James told me about your medications."

I expected Evelyn to say something to me about that, but she just smiled and whispered her thanks. Laura patted her shoulder with a smile then went to answer the front door as Lizzie and Tony arrived.

It was very nearly the perfect evening. Robbie was his usual charming self to Evelyn and I half expected him to tease me a little or at least give me a knowing look, but Laura must have given him instructions and all he said was something about my being "the James he always knew was in there somewhere." Whatever _that_ meant.

The only thing that could have made it better would have been to spend the night with Evelyn, but I had an early meeting with Innocent that I couldn't be late for. If my own bed felt strange, then sleeping alone felt even stranger. After an hour tossing and turning, I got up and went to the hall closet to get an extra pillow. I held it against my chest, pulling my knees up to curl around it. It wasn't the real thing, but it would have to do. With a sigh I finally slept.

 

* * *

 

"What's under the tarpaulin?" Evelyn called from the back of the van.

"It's a secret, no peeking." I chuckled at her pout. I caught her in the rear view mirror looking that way several times, but she kept her word.

We had an enjoyable drive to Wadebridge. The main roads were too fast to see much, but once we got off the M5 – taking a short jaunt through Exeter when I followed the wrong sign – we could start to enjoy the Cornwall countryside. We listened to a little music and kept the conversation light, not straying to our ultimate purpose.

We arrived in good time. I let the needle drop and dawdled through town, looking around with pleasure. Evelyn pointed to a low hill when we crossed the river. "My grandparents' place was up there."

It was a little early to check in to our rooms, so we continued on to the bay. I found a place to park the van right at the edge of the dunes and activated the lift. It was a beautiful day, the sun sparkled on the blue water and there was a light breeze. The faint peeping of shore birds could be heard in the distance, but other than that and the waves, it was quiet. I got out and took a deep breath of salt-tanged air and gazed around happily.

Evelyn rolled around to join me, the electric motor of her chair sounding loud. She gazed wistfully at the water. "It's just as I remember."

I took her hand and laced our fingers together. After a pause I asked quietly, "When was the last time you were here?"

She crinkled her nose slightly in concentration. "I was about fifteen or sixteen I think, and Vi a year older. I think we were more interested in watching boys at that age than playing in the water." She sighed. "It seems such a long time ago."

I figured now would be a good time to spring my surprise and went around to the back of the van. "Cover your eyes and remember, no peeking!" I uncovered it and pulled it out of the van then wheeled it next to her. "Okay, now you can look."

Evelyn looked at it for a moment. "What is that?"

"An all-terrain wheelchair," I said. It looked like a three-wheeled recumbent bicycle with oversized balloon tires. There was no pedal and chain mechanism, but there were hand grips on the back wheels as well as a rear bar for someone to push with.

She looked up at me in amazement. "Where on earth did you get it?"

I grinned at her. "I poked around on the internet until I found a guy who knew a guy who knew another guy. This one's just on loan, but he custom makes them. I thought maybe you'd like to go down to the beach." She didn't respond. Had I overstepped her independence again? "The electric can't handle sand or water, and even a regular push chair can't get down the dunes safely and..." I stopped when she crooked her finger at me to bend down.

She took my face in both hands and kissed me soundly.

 _I guess I did all right after all_ , I thought. When I pulled her up to switch chairs, I paused to hug her tightly.

We spent the afternoon playing tag with the waves and hunting for seashells. I found a pretty rock of a smooth milky white with dark grey granite inclusions and generously marbled with amber. It sparkled with quartzite when held up to the sunlight. I presented it to her. "Are you trying to tell me that I have a hard head?" she asked.

"No, that you're strong and beautiful."

She laughed. "That was sappy even for you, James." But the relaxed and carefree look on her face made it worth it. I didn't point out that it was also sappy for her to carefully tuck the pebble away in a pocket to keep.

 

* * *

 

We made a small but somber procession heading down the dunes at sunset. Evelyn held the urn and a small bunch of purple and yellow violets in her lap. She had become quieter and more serious as the time approached and was content to let me control the chair. The sky was pearlescent with soft pastels backing a low line of clouds on the horizon that were deepening from pink to red.

I was dressed for the water, so I wheeled her right out so she could dangle her feet in and waded in with her. She didn't want poems or prayers recited, so we watched the sun slip below the horizon in silence. Evelyn cast the ashes and violets just as the last sliver disappeared beneath the horizon.

The air cooled quickly now and the water was cold, so we backed out onto the beach where the sand was still warm and watched the twilight deepen. Only when the stars came out and the first faint glimmer of the Milky Way could be seen did we leave. At the top of the dunes we stopped to look back one last time.

"Thank you, James." Evelyn's voice was a rough whisper. She had kept the tears at bay thus far but her chin quivered. "Without you I would have never been able to lay my sister to rest. I can't express how much that means to me."

I squeezed her hand and pulled her up to switch chairs, but instead of setting her down I leaned back against the side of the van and just held her against me. She had her arms around my neck and held on tightly. We stayed that way until I felt her shiver with the chill.

 

* * *

We went for a late dinner. Evelyn had started out quiet, but had gradually relaxed and glimmers of humor shone through by the time we made it back to our room.

Yes, one room, one bed. I hadn't known beforehand what arrangements Evelyn had made and chuckled to myself imagining Robbie facetiously asking "One room or two?" And me getting to say "Do us a favor will ya and mind your own business."

Getting ready for bed together was enjoyably domestic. I brought her medications to her in the bathroom when she left them in her suitcase, and she let me borrow her toothpaste because I'd forgotten mine.

I lay awake holding Evelyn as she slept. I was glad beyond measure that she seemed to be closing the door on the past; all I wanted was for her to be happy. A little past midnight she stirred against me with a sleepy murmur and I shushed her, thinking she was dreaming again.

"Don't tell me that you're still awake." Her voice had a little extra rasp in it.

"Just enjoying holding you," I said.

"You know, I couldn't sleep without you the other night," she chuckled, her breath gusting pleasantly into my ear.

"Me neither."

"What did you do?"

"Hugged a pillow."

That got me an outright laugh. "Well there are worse things I suppose."

"Yeah? What did you do?"

"Just tossed and turned thinking of this." She pulled herself up and leaned in to kiss me deeply.

It caught me by surprise and I reacted without thinking; I rolled her on her back, my hands starting to roam of their own accord. My body's response must have been evident to her and I finally had to forcibly jerk myself away.

"What's wrong?" She tried to tug me back.

I was gasping with the effort to control myself. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I was feeling many things," she said with emphasis. "None of them pain. What are you talking about?"

"I read up on the nerve damage thing, and you know, we don't really have to..." I let my voice trail off, not really knowing how to fully explain.

She sighed into my ear. "James, if I was that fragile, I wouldn't have survived in the first place. Other than the reduced mobility, I'm _fine_. You won't hurt me."

I wanted to believe, but still hesitated. She gave my shoulder a little shake. "You expected this relationship to be sexless? Isn't that taking the whole seminary thing a little bit far?"

"I'm not completely celibate," I protested. "I mean, yes, it's been a while, but just being with you is the most important thing."

"Didn't you think it would be a good idea to discuss it with me?" She was still slightly exasperated, but curious.

"It's not exactly a topic you bring up at dinner is it… 'Pass the salt, please, and oh by the way can you have sex?'" This startled a laugh out of her. "Hey, I was just concerned about you..."

She stopped me with a kiss. When she pulled pack, her eyes were dark garnet with desire and she whispered, "Please, James, don't hold back."

I couldn't resist the desire or refuse the plea and I kissed her deeply while gently pinning her beneath me. Remembering the medical reports, I proceeded to kiss and caress every centimeter of skin that I uncovered as if I were washing away the memories of every wound inflicted on her. And when she trembled beneath me and cried out, I followed her into ecstasy with a groan, her name on my lips.

* * *

I awoke at the first glimmer of light to the feel of Evelyn's bare skin all along the length of my body. Her head was tucked under my chin and our legs were intertwined. I gave a sigh of heartfelt satisfaction.

She stirred at that. "Mmm, what a nice way to wake up," she murmured sleepily.

I couldn't help it, the words just slipped out. "I want to wake up with you like this every morning for the rest of my life. And by this, I mean in my arms and naked."

After a moment's thought she said thoughtfully, "That's negotiable as long as certain stipulations are clearly outlined up front. For instance, I get quite cold in the winter, so there would have to be guarantees that you keep me adequately warm, failure to comply will result in me breaking out the striped flannel pajamas."

"I will of course endeavor to give satisfaction," I said seriously. "However, as long as you're in them, I can accept flannels."

"I think 'rest of my life' is too vague and there will need to be strict timeframes defined. Shall we start with thirty years?"

"Fifty – and we can renegotiate for additional time at any point."

"Done. Shall we shake on it?"

"How about this instead?" And I kissed her. This of course led to even more enjoyable pursuits.

Later as we were trying to catch our breath, she said, "I don't think that was part of the negotiations."

"Those weren't noises of complaint that I just heard," I replied smugly.

This caused her to dissolve into giggles and I rejoiced in them. "Thank god for you, James. I would have never known how dead inside I've been all this time." She squeezed me hard. "I love you."

All those years ago when Robbie had told me that I needed a partner, he was right. And yet something in me had resisted just going out and finding the next one on offer. I had taken the harder, lonelier path, holding out for a miracle. Now my heart had at long last found home and my reward was lying in my arms. I hugged Evelyn more closely to me and said my own prayer of thanks.

"I love you too."

 ::end::

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, suggestions, insults, or typos can be directed here: atomic.space.kitteh [at] gmail [dot] com
> 
> =^..^=


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